Sakura kicks Sasuke to the Curb
by Twilight DeLucca
Summary: Sakura and the other kunoichi get tired of their boyfriends and question why they were with them in the first place. They dump them for new men and do so in a very interesting way. Click on the button for more! Rated M in later chapters for lemons.
1. Oh Gods Why Me?

THIS IS THE REDONE VERSION OF SAKURA KICKS SASUKE TO THE CURB! I AM REDOING IT BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT IT COULD BE BETTER! PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH THE UPDATING PROCESS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT OF MY WORKS!

I DON'T' OWN NARUTO!

Chapter One: Oh Gods Why Me?

CURRENT PAIRINGS:

Sasu/Saku

Ten/Sai

Ino/Chouji

Hina/Shino

Tema/Naru

FINAL PAIRINGS:

Neji/Saku

Ten/Gaa

Shika/Tema

Hina/Kankuro

Naru/Sasu

Ino/Kiba

CHARACTERS INTRODUCED: Haruno Sakura, Shizune, Hyuuga Hiashi, Hyuuga Hinata, Hyuuga Hanabi, Kureiha Tenten, Yamanaka Ino, Sabaku no Temari, Sabaku no Gaara, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke.

Rated M for language, violence, sex scenes, alcohol use

* * *

Haruno Sakura was fed up with her boyfriend Uchiha Sasuke. "I never should have listened to my mother of all people about who to date! Honestly if she wanted me to marry rich, she should have just played matchmaker with Hyuuga Neji! She'd probably have had better luck! Neji's not fucking gay!" She ranted. Shizune winced and shook her head. "That's tough kiddo. What are you gonna do about it?" She asked.

"Dump him of course." Sakura replied with a smile. "Poor Temari though. She'll be crushed. I think she really likes Naruto." Shizune lamented. "Pfft no she doesn't. She's got a thing for Shikamaru." Sakura laughed. "Then why did she agree to date Naruto?" Shizune asked, mystified. "Because Gaara likes Naruto as a friend and Temari didn't want to disappoint Gaara by telling him the truth." Sakura replied ruefully. "Why don't you go take a long lunch with the girls? Hinata and the others were complaining that they missed you." Shizune suggested. "Great idea." Sakura replied.

Hyuuga Hiashi watched his oldest daughter bash her head against the wall with a look that could have possibly been akin to worry and fear on his face. "What are you doing Hinata?" He asked after a stressful ten minutes. "Attempting to beat some sense into my brain." Hinata replied. "Why are you abusing yourself?" Hiashi asked. "Dating Shino was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. Honestly I thought I was smarter than that but apparently not." Hinata replied with a sigh. "Why don't you go have lunch with the girls instead of trying to kill yourself? It's got to be better than what you're doing now." Hiashi suggested. "Good idea Father. Thank you. Sorry about the wall." Hinata replied. "No worries. It'll be fixed before you return home." Hiashi said.

Yamanaka Ino wanted to pull her hair out in frustration. Chouji was pressuring her to retire from active kunoichi duty to start a family. She didn't want to start a family with him. "Ma I'm going to have lunch with Sakura!" Ino called as the pinkette waved at her from the window. "Ok dear." Mrs. Yamanaka replied. The blonde greeted her best friend brightly.

Kureiha Tenten sighed tiredly. "Bad night?" Hyuuga Hanabi asked sympathetically. "The worst. Sai wouldn't let me sleep. He kept wanting to role-play to develop his people skills. I had to threaten him with bodily harm before he shut up and let me sleep. That was three hours ago." Tenten replied with a groan. "Go have lunch with the girls then go home. I can handle the shop on my own. Besides, Rena should be here in an hour and she can help me." Hanabi said. "Thanks Hanabi. Sorry I'm such a shitty partner." Tenten moaned. "It's not your fault. It's fine. You're a wonderful partner. Go." Hanabi replied cheerfully. Tenten obeyed and dragged herself out of the shop as Ino and Sakura were walking by. The pinkette handed her a Genin dose soldier pill so she could survive lunch.

Sabaku no Temari sighed irritably. "Can we go to Konoha now?" She demanded. "I don't see why we can't leave early. Calm down Temari." Sabaku no Gaara replied. "I miss the girls and it's the day of our monthly lunch anyway." Temari sighed. "Let's get Kankuro and go then." Gaara said. Temari perked when he agreed and smiled. "Will you be saying hello to Naruto as well?" Gaara asked. "Yeah. He's my boyfriend after all." Temari replied.

The blonde grinned happily when she got to Konoha and decided to drop by Naruto's apartment before meeting the girls. The boisterous blonde didn't bother to knock anymore because Naruto told her she was welcome whenever she came to Konoha. She was his girlfriend after all. Temari froze when she heard the bed squeaking. 'This motherfucker!' She thought furiously. Thinking it was another woman he was with, Temari barged into the room ready to bring hell down on the unlucky bitch only to freeze again as she saw her equally boisterous boyfriend beneath Sakura's boyfriend Uchiha Sasuke.

"Uh hey babe." Naruto chuckled uncomfortably. "Oh fuck that. Don't call me babe like we're dating. We're fucking done. I can't believe you lied to me for so long. I decided to give you a chance because Gaara thinks so highly of you but I see now that I was wrong for that. I guess the fucking joke's on me huh? Don't bother getting up or stopping what you're doing. I was just leaving." Temari said coldly as she turned sharply and walked out of the apartment.

"Well fuck. This isn't how I planned for her to find out about us." Naruto sighed. "Who cares? Let's continue." Sasuke replied. "Mmm. Ok." Naruto said as he pulled Sasuke down for a needy kiss.

Temari met up with the girls and they instantly hugged her when they saw the tears in her usually bright teal eyes. "What's wrong?" Sakura asked. "I have some bad news Sakura. We should probably sit down." Temari replied softly. "Ok." Sakura said as she led the other girls to a private table where they would be undisturbed, unaware that they were sitting directly behind the very men they each had feelings for.

* * *

Chapter One Redone. R&R!


	2. What They Heard

Chapter Two: What They Heard.

Characters Introduced: Hyuuga Neji, Sabaku no Kankuro, Nara Shikamaru, Inuzuka Kiba

RATED M FOR LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE, ALCOHOL USE, AND SEX SCENES!

I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

R&R!

* * *

"What's wrong Temari?" Sakura asked again as soon as they were seated. "I went to see Naruto. You know the perfunctory greeting and all that stupid shit for Gaara's sake. I went inside that bastard's apartment and he…..he…he was…oh I can't repeat it." Temari replied. "He was in bed with Sasuke wasn't he?" Sakura asked quietly. Temari nodded with her head bowed and Sakura sighed. "I'm sorry you had to find out the same way I found out. I tried to tell you but I couldn't." She said softly.

"I thought Temari and Naruto were actually digging each other." Sabaku no Kankuro said in confusion. "Are you kidding? Naruto and Sasuke stank of each other! It was enough to make me sick when those two were in the same room together. Surely you could smell it too Gaara." Inuzuka Kiba snorted. "I could smell something. I just didn't know what it was. I thought maybe Naruto was seeing another woman while Temari lived in Suna." Gaara shrugged. "Shh. They're talking again." Kankuro whispered.

"So we know that Naruto and Sasuke are clearly gay. How are you and Shino Hina?" Tenten asked. "Gods just kill me now! It's the worst. It's abysmal. I may just commit murder and hope Tsunade-sama chooses to banish me rather than kill me." Hinata groaned. "That bad?" Sakura asked sympathetically. "He keeps trying to talk me into having sex and when I say no, he gets mad and complains that it's my duty as a woman to provide the man I'm going to marry with the basic necessities of life. What a joke." Hinata sneered. "That's sexist and rude." Temari snorted. "Yeah well last night was the last damned straw. Shino tried to rape me." Hinata admitted. "What did you do?!" Ino gasped. "What else? I 64-palms-ed his ass and ran for my life." Hinata replied.

"That bastard." Neji snapped angrily as his Byakugan activated with his anger on his cousin's behalf. "Chill dude. They don't know we're here and I'd like to keep it that way." Kiba hissed. Nara Shikamaru sighed. "I bet they do know. They're just ignoring us for their own problems." He said.

"What about you and Sai Ten?" Ino asked. Tenten looked like someone kicked her in the face with a shitty shoe. "He just wants to role-play all the time. It was interesting the first time because well...what girl doesn't want to spice up her sex life every now and then. But it's not just sex. He wants to pretend we're different people all the time. It's almost like I'm dating a small child. And he won't let me sleep. He keeps the lights on and paints and just gets annoying as shit." She replied as she laid her head on the table. "Damn. Have you stabbed him yet?" Ino asked. "No. I'd feel like I was committing child abuse." Tenten moaned. "And Chouji? I thought you and him were like totally in love." Temari said half-sarcastically. Ino snorted. "He wants me to abandon my kunoichi career, settle down, get married, and have a million fucking brats. I told him to shove it and now I'm staying with my parents until things cool down. I didn't work so damned hard to be a top kunoichi just to settle down and be a housewife! I'm not a pretty face with no brain in my head." Ino snapped. "That's true. None of us are yet we're being treated like that by our jerk-off boyfriends. Aren't you sick of it?" Sakura asked. "Fuck yeah!" Temari yelled. Hinata and Tenten laughed as the sandy blonde ducked down blushing at the stares she got for her outburst.

"So how have your dreams been Sakura?" Hinata asked softly. "Gods I can't stop dreaming about it. And he's amazing in my dreams. I wake up twitching from an imaginary orgasm. It's torture." Sakura whined as she laid her head on the table too. Ino laughed. "Better than Sasuke I'd wager." She said. "Ugh. Having sex with Sasuke isn't as fulfilling as my vibrator is." Sakura replied. "I thought you got rid of that!" Temari cried accusingly. "I did. Now I'm screwing Itachi behind Sasuke's back." Sakura replied. "What?!" Ino shrieked drawing more stares. Sakura laughed. "I'm kidding. Itachi is waaaaay out of my league anyway. Besides, screwing criminals is just wrong. No matter how fucking hot they are." She replied. "You can say that again. Itachi was blessed with all the best Uchiha features if you ask me." Temari agreed with a grin. "Let's focus on our own village mates rather than S-ranked criminals ne?" Tenten laughed. "Fair enough." Temari sighed.

"Ok so first off Sakura, does Sasuke know he's not in your dreams?" Hinata asked. "Oh yeah. Especially since it's not his name I'm yelling when I wake up." Sakura replied. "Ok. Second question. Does he know you're dreaming of him?" Temari asked. "I hope not. I'd hate to get shot down. It would be nothing short of humiliating if he found out and scorned me in front of the whole village." Sakura replied a little hysterically. "I'm sure he wouldn't do that." Ino assured the pinkette. "Oh he would. If I know him like I do, he'd publicly shame me." Sakura groaned. "Actually I don't think he would. You see dear nii-san has been having oddly...questionable dreams lately as well." Hinata replied cheerfully. "Join the club. Jeez I had an erotic dream about that time when I killed the shit out of Tayuya." Temari groaned. "Holy fucking shit! You wanna fuck..." Ino began before Tenten and Sakura jumped and covered her mouth. "Shut up Ino! Jeez you're loud as hell!" Temari hissed.

"Dude you have erotic dreams?" Kiba whispered. Neji blushed. "I can't help it. She torments me in my sleep and in the waking world. I accidentally saw her stripping on a mission once. She was undercover to catch a drug dealer and I was playing a customer of his so we could catch him." He replied defensively. "Oh yeah. That mission. You've got good taste. She's got one hell of a body." Kiba chuckled. "You're a pig." Shikamaru grunted. "Whatever. Like we don't know about that dream with you and Gaara's sister." Kiba snorted. Shikamaru blushed. "Sorry dude. She's hot. I can't help it. The clothes she wears doesn't help either." He said to the red head. "It's fine. She's a big girl now." Gaara replied. Kankuro laughed. "Yeah since Shukaku is plaguing Gaara's dreams with bondage mistress bun girl." He agreed. "I wouldn't talk. You wail for a certain cousin to our friend Neji over here. How do you think you'd look without a dick?" Gaara snapped back. "She's cute. I don't have erotic dreams about her!" Kankuro protested.

"Ok Sakura if you could pick your babies to have dark hair and Sharingan eyes or dark hair and Byakugan eyes which would you pick?" Tenten fired off. "Byakugan duh. I wouldn't have to worry about my babies growing up to be emo bastards with a brother complex. Or going blind when they got older because they were related to a jackass like Sasuke." Sakura replied instantly. Temari snorted loudly. "So if Neji came up and asked you bear his children complete with lecherous expression you'd say yes?" She asked. "Fuck no! I'd throw my arms open and scream 'Take me I'm yours!'" Sakura replied. Temari and Ino laughed heartily. "Shame Sakura. You know Neji isn't a fan of sex in public!" Tenten scolded. "Oh honey. I could make him learn to love it every now and then." Sakura replied shamelessly. Hinata blushed and giggled. "You're horribly deprived aren't you?" She asked. "I'm pushing permanent celibacy at this point. I'm so desperate I'd even rape Itachi if I could get away with it." Sakura groaned. "I'm sure Itachi would agree just to rub it in Sasuke's face that he can't even keep a woman by his side." Tenten snorted. "He totally would." Sakura agreed. "You know what you need?" Ino asked. "What?" Sakura asked in response. "You need a hot man to shove you against a wall, rip your clothes off, and fuck your brains out." Ino replied. "Amen to that Ino." Sakura said. "I think we all need that. Well except for sweet little Hina-chan here. She needs a good man that will take care of her and make her first time special." Tenten replied. "Um...I'm not a virgin. I lost that as soon as I passed the Anbu exams." Hinata blushed. "Oh my gods. You actually had sex with a man?" Temari cried. Hinata blushed harder. "Uh yeah. We were kinda drunk when it happened. I only remember because I woke up next to him and freaked." She replied meekly. "Well who was it?" Temari demanded. "Kakashi-sensei." Hinata whispered. "Oh my fucking gods! You wicked woman!" Sakura shrieked. "It wasn't on purpose!" Hinata wailed. "You are so lucky! Did he take his mask off?!" Sakura demanded. "Oh yes. He did." Hinata blushed harder. "And?!" Sakura demanded. "He's sinfully and unbelievably hot." Hinata admitted. Sakura swooned in her seat for a moment. "I knew it. I always knew he was smoking hot under all those layers." She said dreamily.

"Ok so I guess at this point it's safe to say that I desperately want to fuck your cousin Hinata. Temari wants shadow babies. Tenten digs sand in strange places. Hinata has a thing for guys that hide their true faces. Ino likes...um you never said who you wanted in place of Chouji." Sakura sweat dropped. "I love dogs." Ino shrugged. "Ok so Ino wants a wild, beastly fuck that will leave her walking funny for days. So we're all desperate for anything but what we have but are we actually going to dump our boyfriends and go after what we really want?" Sakura asked. "Fuck yeah!" Temari yelled again. "Ok then. We need plans." Sakura said.

* * *

The plot thickens. I hope you like the rewritten version better than the original. R&R


	3. You and Your Hand Dickwad

Chapter Three: You and Your Hand Dickwad

I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

Rated M obviously.

* * *

Sakura opened her door to four determined kunoichi. "Come on it. I'm just about to take a shower. You're all welcome to wait for me. We'll raid my closet after." She said. "Thanks." The girls chorused. Sakura led them up to her room and headed into the bathroom. "So we were thinking karaoke would do the trick. Besides they wouldn't make a scene in front of their own comrades right?" Temari called. "Good idea Temari!" Sakura called back. The pink haired kunoichi came out dressed in her underclothes and grinned. "That's a great idea. I have the perfect song in mind too. We'll wing the dance moves since we're kunoichi. Shower if you want and we'll pick something out." Sakura said. "We showered before we got here." Tenten said. "Ok. Let's get dressed then." Sakura replied.

Sakura got dressed in a short emerald dress and a pair of matching high heels. Ino dressed in a short jean skirt and a baby blue halter top that matched her eyes she also wore high heels. Tenten and Temari opted for pants, the former going for black leather and the later going for tight camouflage cargo pants Tenten forwent her usual Chinese shirt for a tight red tube top while Temari wore a tight tank top that matched her pants. Both kunoichi chose boots. Hinata dressed in a pair of short shorts and a lavender backless halter top that matched her eyes as well and opted for her ninja sandals. "We look hot." Sakura decided. "Indeed we do. I pity the male population tonight. Oh and poor Hinata's dad. He'll have a coronary." Temari laughed. "Let's go." Sakura laughed as well.

The five girls disappeared in their respective ways and reappeared backstage of the bar all the shinobi in Konoha and a few citizens frequent the most. Everyone was there. Hinata even saw her father and grinned. "Yes! He's gonna be shocked so bad that he might have a heart attack. Oh my. Luckily we're all medics ne Cherry-chan?" Hinata giggled. "Hai Kaiten-chan." Sakura agreed. Takara Tai the owner of the bar grinned and went onstage. "Ladies and gentlemen, Shinobi of all ages and ranks, I'm happy to present to you tonight Cherry, Dango, Cosmos, Kaze aaaand Kaiten!" He shouted. Cheers went up all over the bar as everyone waited for the five kunoichi to come out. Sakura, TenTen, Temari, Ino, and Hinata all strutted out on stage as the music began playing. Everyone's eyes widened as they started singing.

Sakura and Temari:

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_ (Temari)

_Check it out_ (Sakura)

_Going out_ (Temari)

_On the late nigh_t (Sakura)

_Lookin' tight_ (Temari)

_Feelin' nice_ (Sakura)

_It's a cock fight_ (Temari)

_I can tell_ (Sakura)

_I just know_ (Temari)

_That's it's going down_ (Sakura)

_Tonight_ (Temari)

_At the door we don't wait cause we know them_ (Sakura)

_At the bar six shots just beginning_ (Temari)

_That's when dick head put his hands on me_ (Sakura) (Kakashi and Asuma henged as Sasuke and Naruto drape an arm around their shoulders)

_But you see_ (Temari)(They pick their arms off and toss them away from their bodies)

All:

_I'm not here for your entertainment_

_You don't really wanna mess with me tonight_

_Just stop and take a second_

_I was fine before you walked into my life_

_Cause you know it's over_

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

_It's just you and your hand tonight._

Ino and Hinata:

_Midnight_ (Ino)

_I'm drunk_ (Hinata)

_I don't give a fuck_ (both)

_Wanna dance_ (Ino)

_By myself_ ( Hinata) (Ino and Hinata dance together raunchily, making Hiashi nearly have a heart attack and Neji restrain himself from going up there and scolding all the women before covering them up)

_Guess you're outta luck_ (both)

_Don't touch_ (Ino)

_Back up_ (Hinata)

_I'm not the one_ (Ino)

_Buh bye_ (both)

_Listen up it's just not happenin'_ (Hinata)

_You can say what you want to your boyfriends_ (Ino)

_Just let me have my fun tonight_ (Hinata)

_Aiight_ (both)

All:

_I'm not here for your entertainment_

_You don't really wanna mess with me tonight_

_Just stop and take a second_

_I was fine before you walked into my life_

_Cause you know it's over_

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

_It's just you and your hand tonight_

TenTen and Sakura:

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

_Break break_

_Break it down_ (TenTen)

_In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks_ (TenTen again)

_You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck_ (all)

_We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see_ (Sakura)

_SO QUIT SPILLIN' YOUR DRINKS ON ME! Yeah_ (all again)

All:

_You know who you are_

_High-fivin', talkin' shit but you're going home alone arentcha?_

_Cause I'm not here for your entertainment_

_You don't really wanna mess with me tonight_

_Just stop and take a second_

Ino:

_Just stop and take a second_

All:

_I was fine before you walked into my life_

_Cause you know it's over_

Hinata:

_Know it's over_

All:

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

_It's just you and your hand tonight_

TenTen:

_It's just you and your hand_

All:

_I'm not here for your entertainment_

_You don't really wanna mess with me tonight_

_Just stop and take a second_

Temari:

_Just take a second_

All:

_I was fine before you walked into my life_

_Cause you know it's over_

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

_It's just you and your hand tonight_

_yeah oh._

"That song was dedicated to our boyfriends who we wanna break up with and we thought what no better way to do it then with a song. In front of everyone. Soooooo we got together and planned the song and the dance moves." Sakura began. "And we'd like to thank Kakashi-sensei and Asuma-sensei for participating. You two did a wonderful job." Hinata said. "Oh and sorry we corrupted your daughter Hiashi-sama. I know you were close to having a heart attack when you saw her." TenTen giggled. "Well I hope you liked the show and you never date our ex boyfriends. They'd just give you a world of trouble." Ino said with disdain aimed for their ex boys. "And if you liked it, you should show it by buying us a drink!" Temari shouted. "Goodnight everyone!" The five kunoichi shouted before they ran off the stage to the deafening roar of cheering.

* * *

Chapter Three redone! I kept the original chapter and added on. Can't disappoint my fans! R&R!


	4. Take Me, I'm Yours!

Chapter Four: Take Me I'm Yours!

I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

Warning: PRELUDE TO SEX!

* * *

The five kunoichi joined the others in the crowd and mingled. "You guys were great." Kiba said brightly. "Thanks." Sakura and the other four kunoichi replied, giggling. Ino grabbed his arm and smiled. "Why don't you buy me a drink?" She said. "Ok." Kiba replied. They went toward the bar and Sakura smiled. Hinata was talking to her father about her performance. "It wasn't too bad was it Otou-sama?" She asked. "No. It was perfect. It got the point across." Hiashi replied. Hinata smiled.

Shino grabbed Hinata's arm and dragged her to a dark corner. "What the hell was that about?" He demanded angrily. Hinata yanked her arm back. "What was what about?" She snapped back just as angry. "Why the fuck did you sing that stupid fucking song? You look like a common whore!" Shino hissed at her. Hinata growled back. "That's none of your business since we're no longer a couple Shino." She bit out. "Says who?" Shino growled. "Says me!" Hinata shouted as she went to leave. Shino grabbed her arm and slammed her into the wall. "Oh no Hinata-chan. I didn't say you could leave." He said coldly. "You don't have that right anymore. I can leave whenever I feel like it." Hinata replied just as coldly.

Shino growled angrily and pinned her body with his own. "That my dear is where you're wrong. I have that right and more." He replied. Sakura saw her friend in trouble and excused herself from talking to Kakashi to rescue her. "Aburame get your hands off of my girl." Sakura said quietly. She had a light covering of chakra on her hands. She was trained to subdue any Kekkei Genkai no matter what it was. "And what are you going to do little bitch?" Shino sneered as he ran his hand up Hinata's thigh to the junction between her legs.

Sakura saw red. She went passed pink and straight to kill. She grabbed Shino by the back of his jacket and threw him across the room and out into the street. Sakura went after him but was intercepted by Neji instead. He pulled her into a dark corner and shoved her against the wall this time. The pink haired kunoichi stopped snarling as soon as Neji grabbed her jaw, tilted her head up and kissed her like she was a glass of water he desperately wanted. Sakura completely forgot about her earlier task and eagerly returned the demanding kiss with a wanton moan. She protested softly when Neji stopped kissing her but relaxed when he ran his lips across her cheek to her ear. "I want to take you home and fuck you so hard you'll forget everything else but how good it feels when I'm deep inside you." He whispered hotly. Sakura whimpered quietly as her legs trembled. "Take me. I'm yours." She whispered back against his jaw. "I don't share. Once I have you, you're mine. I keep what's mine." Neji warned her darkly as his hands slid up her outer thighs to grip her ass. "Good. I don't like sharing either. I keep what's mine too." Sakura gasped as the dark haired Hyuuga lifted her up. Her legs went around his waist automatically and her eyes widened slightly when she felt just how eager he was to get home.

"Where are you two headed?" Temari asked as she spotted them leaving. "Home. The bar's a bit too crowded for my taste." Neji replied curtly. Sakura's glazed expression spoke volumes to Temari who grinned lecherously. "Enjoy your night Sakura. We'll all talk later." She leered. Sakura nodded. "I think I most definitely will." She replied breathlessly.

* * *

Chapter Four Redone! Enjoy.


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